before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
