The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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