Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
