508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize