If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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