apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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