I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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