He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
