Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize