I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize