Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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