Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
