kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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