It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
