People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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