she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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