Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
