I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
