I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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