dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
this boner is exhausting
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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