Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
