I heard we made out
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
well most of my day revolves around power hour
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
