it hurts more in the daytime
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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