i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
