i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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