I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
