Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
