yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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