Tell her she can't have a vagina
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
