ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
