I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
