talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
