Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
