New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize