i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
