it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
