guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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