a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
