so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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