He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
