the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
