You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
