what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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