Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize