im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
