who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wear drunk well.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
