He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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