Sry I called you an 8
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize