another moral hangover. fuck.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
