I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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