In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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