Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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