she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
