Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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