Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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