So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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