Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
