I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Randomize
