I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
