the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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