People in love make me want to vomit
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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