WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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