The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
