he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
